Rob's Rants

I just finished hosting the 8th annual Carnivore’s Carnival, the annual summer BBQ party that I throw at my house. I’ve been perfecting my BBQ for far longer, but eight years ago my wife and I decided that we should take this love of mine to a new level. It’s one thing to cook great BBQ in manageable portions for you and your family and close friends. It’s another level of undertaking to do it for 50 or 60 people on a tight schedule. As a first step towards competition, I think this endeavor teaches valuable skills. Like timing different types of food which cook at different temperatures, and handling industrial-size quantities of meat, rubs, and sauce.

This year everything turned out better than ever, judging buy the comments from the guests. The timing for just about everything worked out perfectly, except or some uncooperative chicken that took longer than expected. I used every tool in my BBQ arsenal – my Bradley electric smoker, my New Braunfels Black Diamond smoker, and even my grill.

Anyway, after eight years, I have developed some solid rules about BBQ that I will pass on here. I hope they will be of value to anyone just starting out.

1. The timing and the technique matter most. The rub, sauce, and type of wood are secondary flavors. You can put the world’s best rub on a shoulder; if you over cook it, under cook it, or over smoke it, it will still taste horrible. Practice the timing again and again. Worry about the rub later (or try my recipe).
2. Nothing beats a real wood or at least charcoal (hardwood charcoal) fire. I love my Bradley electric smoker, and my gas grill turns out some good BBQ, but the bark and smoke ring formed on a shoulder smoked over wood for 15 to 18 hours cannot be duplicated any other way.
3. For regular, normal, everyday people (particularly northerners) the sauce matters. It may be heresy to those of us who appreciate smoke flavor and the chew of a memphis-stye dry-rubbed rib, but if pleasing your guests is important, give them some good tasting sauce.
4. Buy a thermometer for the pit and one for the meat. Use them. Trust your instruments. Until you get really, really good, they will also help you understand what the bones are telling you about doneness when they start to loosen up.
5. Get some shelter. BBQ requires time. Neither you or your pit will benefit from being stuck out in inclement weather. Moving from sun to shade can change the temp of my New Braunfels pit by 50 degrees. That matters. Consistent shelter will make for consistent BBQ. I use a 10′ x 10′ EZ-Up Express II shelter with walls I can zip closed as needed.
6. You can never have too many real towels to clean and cook with. Forget paper towels – they rip too easily. A stack of heavy duty towels will clean anything and you can use them to grab hot pans too.

There you have it. Six simple rules I’ve learned the hard way so you don’t have to. Good luck.

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3. My BBQ Arsenal
4. Updated BBQ Rub (Again)