Raising a Participatory Patient
I’ve written about the idea of participatory medicine before. But having a young child (my daughter will be five in January) finally gives my wife and I a chance to see if we really integrate these ideas into our own lives. A recent trip to the dentist for my daughter gave my wife and I the idea that, although we’ve never really thought of ourselves as participatory patients, we really have worked with our healthcare providers this way all our lives. And this is something my wife and I are sharing with our daughter. Even at the age of five she gets to have a say in her healthcare and she is allowed to ask questions of the doctors, make suggestions, and encouraged to expect answers.
First, some background.
Thanks to my wife, my daughter exhibits good dental habits. She brushes her teeth twice a day, she uses dental floss (in little plastic holders for kids) and, now that she’s a little older, even rinses with a fluoride rinse. But her first visit to the dentist last year went badly and made her feel terrible.
First, my daughter is very sensitive to loud noises. Or at least noises that she considers loud. I’m nearly deaf as a post, so what bothers her seems normal to me, but to her, the “slurpy thing” (suction tube) that the hygienist put in her mouth was too loud and very disconcerting. Then, at the end of the visit, the hygienist suggested a fluoride treatment, but only if our daughter would be able to hold it in her mouth and spit it out without swallowing, because swallowing fluoride can make you violently ill. We had practiced the spitting out kind of rinsing, so we agreed. And I’m sure you know what’s coming next. Being nervous, our daughter swallowed a good portion of the fluoride, and spent several of the next hours violently vomiting.
So, six months later we announce to her one night that she’s going to the dentist again the next day. And she bursts into tears.
Our first instinct could have been to tell her that going to the dentist was for her own good (like we did with her flu shot) and that she had to do what the dentist said. But instead our first instinct was to find out what bothered her. When she told us about the “slurpy thing” we were delighted to tell our daughter that she could ask the dentist not to use it. And that instantly changed her demeanor. Suddenly she had some control … a five year-old was allowed to control what happened at the dentist’s office. Then she told us about the fluoride. We understand that fluoride has benefits for a young child, and that our daughter needs some extra since we have well water and all she gets is from her toothpaste. But we didn’t think that she needed it enough to relive four hours of vomiting. So we told her to ask the dentist, with Mommy’s help.
And that’s just what she did. When she was called to the office she (with some encouragement) asked that they not use the slurpy thing. And the hygienist agreed. No slurpy thing. When it came to the fluoride, our daughter asked if she could skip it because she didn’t want to throw up. And she actually had a conversation with the hygienist (assisted by Mommy) and they agreed that she could use a special fluoride rinse at home every day instead of the office treatment. And after she practiced for six months, when she came back to the office the next time she could have the fluoride there again.
I was so proud of her … she actually had a conversation with a healthcare provider and worked out an alternative treatment. I hope this begins a lifetime of participating in her care.








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