Rob's Rants

I live back in the woods, you see,
A woman and the kids, and the dogs and me.
I got a shotgun rifle and a 4-wheel drive
And a country boy can survive.
Country folks can survive.

I can plow a field all day long;
I can catch catfish from dusk till dawn.
We make our own whiskey and our own smoke too
Ain’t too many things these ole boys can’t do.
We grow good ole tomatoes and homemade wine
And a country boy can survive.
Country folks can survive.

Because you can’t starve us out
And you cant makes us run,
‘Cuz we’re them old boys raised on shotgun.
And we say grace and we say Ma’am,
if you ain’t into that we don’t give a damn.

We came from the West Virginia coal mines
And the Rocky Mountains and the and the western skies.
And we can skin a buck; we can run a trot-line
And a country boy can survive.
Country folks can survive.

- from A Country Boy can Survive by Hank Williams Jr.

I spent a lot of time growing up in the country. I am firmly planted in a suburb now, but I still retain some remnants of my earlier days. I lived in Wayne County, PA for much of my childhood. In 2010, Wayne County had just over 52,000 people in it. In the whole county … that works out to just over 65 people per square mile. In contrast, I now live in Worcester County, MA, considered “the country” by many in Massachusetts, and the population density is ~500 people per square mile. I went to college and lived for several years afterwards in Cheshire County, NH, which has about 77,000 people in it and a population density of just over 100 people per square mile. I worked for a while on the Medicine Bow National Forest outside of Laramie, WY and lived for a summer in the tiny town of Albany, WY. As of the 200o census, there were 80 people in the town of Albany, WY with a population density of only 4 people per square mile.

A couple of months ago, Christopher Kimball, editor of Cook’s Illustrated and Cook’s Country magazines and host of the America’s Test Kitchen TV show wrote a forward to an issue of Cook’s Illustrated about the differences between country people and city people. It really got me thinking … here’s my take on it.

1. Country people carry pocketknives. Almost without exception, I have carried a small folding lock-blade knife in my pocket every day for 29 years (since I was 12 years old). I carried it to high-school when I was a kid (long before total “weapons” bans … heck until the shootings at Columbine kids would bring hunting rifles to school during deer season so they could go hunting on the way home – they were simply locked in a room during the school day) and I carried it onto airplanes in the years before 9/11. Now it flies in my checked bags and is usually removed as soon as I reclaim them.
2. Country people know how to sharpen knives and tools. And I don’t mean by taking them to the sharpening store. I mean on different grade oilstones the way you’re supposed to.
3. Country people prepare for disasters/storms differently than city people. The recent passing of hurricane Irene reminded me of this. As people around me prepared for the storm nearly every bottle of water for miles was sold out. Why? A hurricane tends to bring a lot of rain … the last thing you need to do is buy more water. Stick some pots outside – problem solved. You really need food that can be cooked over an open fire and stuff to build that fire with. In preparation for the storm I tweeted, only half-jokingly, “City ppl buy: water, eggs, bread. Country ppl buy: beer, hot dogs, ammo.”
4. Country people don’t rely on professional rescuers/services. The evidence of this: country people will always have most of the items on this list in their car/truck at all times: jumper cables, tow chain/strap, duct tape, bungee cords, basic tools, blanket. And if they still live in the county, a gun. City people figure if they have their cell phone they’re good to go. Most probably wouldn’t know where to hook a tow chain anyway without ripping a body panel off their vehicle.
5. Country people own chainsaws. Gas-powered ones. City people hire landscapers and arborists. And no, your electric chain saw doesn’t count. The only thing electric chain saws are good for is carving ice sculptures. (My saw is a 1980 Stihl 032 AVEQ).
6. City people bag the leaves that fall in their yard and hire someone to dispose of brush. Country people wait for the right time after a rain and just light all that stuff on fire.
7. Country people shoot nuisance animals. Squirrel on the bird feeder? Chipmunk digging in the garden? Nothing a nice .22 rifle won’t fix. Raccoon in the garbage? Skunk bothering the dog? .357 magnum fixes that in a hurry. Bear on the deck pushing against the sliding glass door at 8 pm? 5 shots from a 9mm to the head stopped that. Coyotes attacking an outdoor cat one night? Spotlight and a .270 fixed that problem. All of these happened to me growing up. All but the bear more than once.
8. Country people aren’t afraid of wildlife. Honest conversation in my kitchen as a kid … “What the hell is the dog still barking at? Go see what the hell is the matter.” I go outside with a flashlight … as I re-enter the kitchen door. “Well?” “He’s got a bear up a tree.” “Oh. Do me a favor and hand me that plate. You want dessert?” No calls to animal control. No panic. As long as the bear isn’t trying to get in the house, no problem. Bears are supposed to live outside. And if they try to get in … see #7.
9. Country people cook outside … over real fires. Life on weekends and during hunting season revolves around an outdoor fire. And not in some fancy outdoor fireplace … usually an old oil drum will do. And what’s the use standing around an outdoor fire if you don’t put it to use? Slab bacon or sausage on a stick. Bread toasted with the drippings. Coffee (or hot chocolate) warmed over the flames. No grill needed.
10. Country people give driving directions with distances. City people give driving directions with time. When I was home and someone asked, “How far is the lumber yard,” I’d say, “25 miles towards Newfoundland.” Now when someone asks me “How far is Logan airport,” I say “45 minutes with no traffic, 2 1/2 hours at rush hour.”
11. Country people own kerosene/oil lamps. We know that generators can fail, candles are dangerous, and batteries die. But a 5 gallon can of kerosene and a few oil lamps will light your house at night for a month. (I still have three with my emergency supplies.)
12. Country people know why an agricultural tractor has two brake pedals.
13. Country people know that you drive in the middle of the road during mud season and before the snow is plowed.
14. Country people still use strike-anywhere matches.

About two weeks after the initial discovery, our cardinal eggs have hatched and 4 hungry baby birds are chirping away waiting for food. Here’s the view from above:

4 Hungry Babies

I wouldn’t say that I’m a fanatical organic gardener, but I do use very few chemicals, and usually use organic ones when I do. I’ve always thought that the sign of a healthy yard isn’t an unbroken expanse of dense, almost fake looking turf, but a nice diversity of life — birds, squirrels, worms, and fuzzy little animals all living happily.

Since we moved into this house, we’ve had a constant stream of wildlife using our yard. For several years now, a family of robins has nested and raised their young in a next under the eave of our garage. There must have been a dozen new birds that have come from that nest. A couple of years ago I was working in my vegetable garden and I stepped on something under the mulch that squeaked. Turned out to be a nest of young rabbits that couldn’t have been more than a couple of days old. I covered them back up and tracked their progress every few days. A few weeks later 4 brand new bunnies hopped off to the woods.

We’ve had house wrens, finches, robins, and rabbits all call our yard home. This year’s new addition is a nest of cardinals. They seem to have made a home in an azalea in our back yard. We’ll keep taking pictures for the next couple of weeks as the young birds develop.

Here’s the nest today:

4 Eggs in a nest.